Join me for Simply Wild 2022
Simply Wild 2022
October 6th - 10th, 2022
Simply Wild. Where to even begin? And how to put it all to words without writing an entire novel..?? When I first saw it I was SO on board. But....then I convinced myself it was WAY too expensive. It was way too expensive for someone who just had neck surgery and plastic surgery for her broken face. Why would I willingly sign up and pay so much money to torture myself!?!? So I ignored it. I let all the doubt and fear take over. But then it kept creeping back into my thoughts and I decided to just go for it! For me and for nobody else. I needed this.
From the moment I signed up I never looked back, all I felt was gratitude and excitement. I was so ready and so stoked! Right up until the very moment we pulled up to the VRBO. Then it hit me. And boy did it hit me hard. I wanted to run away and hide! What the crap was I thinking!? I did NOT feel like myself.
As the night went on I was literally physically shaking, I was so freaked out and so overwhelmed. I wanted to just let go and have fun! But I couldn't. I could sense the doubts and fears of the other women, including our 2 guides, as we packed up our bags in that garage. And that was very unsettling for me, but at least I knew I wasn't alone! I was starting to realize that time was limited and we were all clueless, hence a lot of stress and pressure. The weight of it all, especially that 50lb backpack, kept me up all night. I didn't sleep. And before I knew it I was sleep deprived in the middle of nowhere, facing a mountain along with 13 other women. Strangers.... And I don't tend to like women. I grew up as the only girl with 6 brothers and I don't understand women. I was terrified of all of them.
I still can't believe I did it. I climbed those big rocks and pushed through the mind-numbing physical pain. I did my best to also push past my social comfort zone, to ask questions, and tried to get to know these women on a different, deeper level than just casual small talk.
IT WAS SO HARD. And it was so beautiful. It was raw and extremely emotional. This experience wasn't full of rainbows and butterflies for me. It was honestly far from perfect. It was challenging and awkward and extremely uncomfortable. There are many things I would go back and change if I could. But.... I was open to growth and to healing and I am better because of it. And THAT is why I would do it all all over again. In many ways that retreat represented the last 2 years of hell since my traumatic car accident- all too well. However, it also reflected the beauty of my strength and fortitude. I am a beast. I am a fighter. I am a conqueror. And I reconnected with my soul in a miraculous way that hasn't happened for me in a very, very long time.
My only complaint is that it was seriously too short! I wish I had more one on one time with Sadie, Angelique and each of the other women. It was only 14 of us but for someone like me it truly felt like one hundred and fourteen. By the end though, I was so grateful for each of them. They proved me wrong. They opened up and shared their pain, their stories, their most vulnerable selves with me and with all of us. It was something truly indescribable, one of those things where you just had to be there.
"I will rise to my calling as a warrior. I am strong. I am courageous. I am free. I am simply wild."
This first photo describes perfectly the pure depth of my fear and anxiety that first night. But the second photo? The second photo is victory, MY victory. And I am forever grateful.
Simply Sadie Jane is a fitness and lifestyle blog that focuses on author Sadie Jane’s everyday life as a young modern mom on the quest for body, mind, and soul awareness, connection, and strength in a busy world.
In 2008, Sadie got married, graduated with her Registered Nurse degree, and started blogging. She then worked for 5 years in the Labor unit and would blog her experiences as a nurse and wife at 3 AM in the break room. After having baby #2, Sadie Jane shared with her readers how she lost over 80 pounds while having little children, little money, and little time. She specializes in at-home fitness and shares tips, tricks, tutorials, and at-home workout plans with her readers all over the world.
It wasn’t until she hit rock bottom in 2015 that she learned that wellness was more than just working out. It was self-love and awareness, something Sadie struggled with her entire life. She found education and healing from her childhood food disorders and body dysmorphia through hypnotherapy and yoga. She learned it wasn’t about her weight, but about her inner creator and light. That knowledge freed Sadie from her false beliefs of herself and inspired her to make it her life’s mission to share this love with women all over the world.
Sadie became Yoga certified and enjoys sharing her love of CrossFit and Yoga with her community. While pregnant with baby #3, Sadie researched and studied perinatal fitness and became an expert in the field. Her programs and courses inspire women everywhere to live their best lives NOW.
Never taking herself or life too seriously, Sadie is not scared to relate to her readers and share everyday motherhood moments. Sadie loves giving her two cents on topics like fashion, beauty, travel, snoring husbands, cupcakes, and toddler tantrums. She quit nursing 4 years ago when she decided to blog full-time.
Sadie loves inspiring women to see their true potential and strength and is blown away everyday that she is privileged to stay home doing what she loves. She has worked, modeled, and traveled for many major top brands and appears on TV shows sharing her tips and story.
“I’ve been with girls who would put you to shame.”
“For someone who works out so much, you sure don’t look like it.”
Two statements from two different guys.
I was with the first for almost 6 years and the second for 10 years. I wish I could say that’s the worst they ever said to me . . .
When I was growing up, my dad was physically and emotionally abusive. Combine that with growing up poor and never feeling like I was good enough, and what you get is the perfect recipe for the 15+ years of unhealthy, emotionally abusive relationships that would follow.
A friend said to me recently, “You don’t seem like someone who would take shit from someone.” I never saw myself being that person either. It doesn’t happen overnight. It’s like you slowly give up a little of yourself time and time again, and they figure out what works to control you. And when something doesn’t work, they try something else, like either being meaner or maybe even being nicer. They withhold love and attention so that you’re compelled to work for it—to earn it—and when you finally get their affection, it literally gets you high. And then you’re left working and waiting for your next hit. That hit doesn’t come easily and it’s costly.
And when things are “good,” you work hard not to rock the boat; you walk on eggshells and try to keep them happy because it’s easier than dealing with the alternative. Over time you start to doubt yourself, like maybe you are as stupid as they say.
My ex-husband was extremely manipulative, controlling, and verbally abusive. I wasn’t allowed to do certain things. I wasn’t allowed to go to the mall with one friend, play basketball with another, or travel overseas to see my best friend, even though I was a grown woman with a job (two to three jobs at any given time, to be exact). If you have never been in an abusive relationship of any kind, it probably sounds ridiculous to hear me say I wasn’tallowedto do things. I get it. It sounds completely ridiculous to me now.
Every morning, I’d again feel sick to my stomach as I came home from the gym. If the kitchen blinds were open, that meant he was awake and who knew what mood he’d already be in. If the blinds were shut, he was still asleep. I’d pray every morning for those blinds to be shut.
I’d get physically sick when I saw his name pop up on my phone while I was at work. What had I done now? It was usually a call or a text about how I had done something wrong and how stupid, lazy, and retarded I was.
Toward the end of my marriage, I began accepting the things he said to me, like that I was stupid, even to the point that I began to feel like a fraud at work, like I was unqualified and undeserving of my position.
While I had thought about leaving so many times, fear kept me from leaving. Yes, I was in this horrible, unhealthy relationship, but I felt like I had made it in life. I had this nice house, a nice car, a snowmobile, a dirt bike, a camper—all of these material things that I was afraid of losing because I was afraid of starting over and being poor again.
What’s crazy is, after everything I went through, he. left. me. You read that right. He left me for someone else. It’s embarrassing to admit, but the night he told me he was leaving me, I cried and begged him not to leave. BEGGED!! BEGGED!!
Looking back, I can’t believe that was me in that marriage. I knew the relationship was unhealthy while I was in it, but I didn’t really see how sick I was until I was out of it. Yes, ex-husband and the guy before him were assholes, but I played a part too. I was choosing these assholes and allowing them to treat me that way.
When I think back to the person I was in my previous relationships, it makes me really sad. That girl had little to no respect for herself. She didn’t fully know her worth or how she deserved to be treated. She didn’t have clear boundaries in her relationship or even her friendships, for that matter.
My ex-husband leaving me is the best thing that has ever happened to me, hands down. I got a roommate and picked up a second job again to make ends meet. I took time to focus on what made me happy. I spent a lot of time thinking about what kind of relationship I wanted, how I wanted to be treated, and what I refused to put up with. I spent a lot of time reflecting on it, and I realized I would rather live alone for the rest of my life than ever live like that again.
It wasn’t until after my divorce that I got into backpacking. I bought a bunch of cheap gear on Amazon Prime Day, shoved everything into my pack super inefficiently, and set off into the mountains with two of my girlfriends. I will never forget how empowering it felt to hack away at a fallen tree for firewood, to filter water for cooking and drinking from a flowing stream, and to sit down at the end of a long, tiring day and enjoy good conversation with great friends and no distractions. It’s those feelings of strength and sisterhood that I want to pass on to other women, to know what it’s like to only have the stuff on their back, the women beside them, and—most importantly—themselves to count on.